I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
