i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
