Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
