Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
