Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
