I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
