Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
