Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
