Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
