a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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