I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
