i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
