That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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