ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
