I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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