Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
as a side note pls kill me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
