went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
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My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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