We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
