So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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