hell yes lets make some ravioli
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
