I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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