is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
