Nicole vs. Life
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm too high and old for this...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
how drunk are you?
Several
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
