i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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