the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
