I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize