Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
