I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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