please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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