Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
