They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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