Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
