well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
