im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
