My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT