Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?