I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We just shotgunned beers for America
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney