i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I will die if light touches me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.