i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have never encountered a chode in the wild