I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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