Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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