I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Randomize
