Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
