she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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