i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
