i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize