I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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