Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
