How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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