Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
