I'm so fucking centered right now
wanna go halves on a baby?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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