spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
