dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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