Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
