Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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