Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
