super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
