So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
