My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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