garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
