totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
