I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You made out with two different species that night
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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