but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
