it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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