this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
