sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
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How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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